The Boxer

10 07 2007

It registers in your brains a split second later. God! It hurts… Pain, searing pain. Red hot scalding pain. Then you realize you got to fight. For you need it, for the cruel sadism sedated audience needs it… and you fight. This time you hit him. Right there, a left jab. It was a good one. It made him reel under pain and shock. I don’t fight for some exalted reasoning of unexplained poverty. I fight, for I only know how to fight. Ugghh…a right jab on my left cheek. A deafening roar. A metallic taste pervaded my tongue. Blood.

“Come on do it, finish it….he is draining you. You are getting tired….give him right,right, left combo…”

Two quick punches, and he goes behind. I almost lunge to land him another. One hook on to his right cheek.


And another on his left cheek, he ducks. A straight one on his face, right hand, full force.


The audience has gone crazy. It always goes. Knock Outs are its favourite.


Boxing is not a game for me. It’s the question of my existence. I don’t get handsome pays to buy me a duplex. Its just enough to get me going till the next fight. Or not till then if I have to visit the local shrink. (Not a bad man, I call him doc.I keep on forgetting his name) But still I box, for this is the only thing I know. “Come on box…box…better flexes…you got to give your everything”.

This is not my coach or rather is it? I don’t know but any sane man wont consider these words to belong to my coach. These are my endless thoughts running inside my brains. The local doc says I should stop boxing. He says I have got high chances of hippocampal haemmorhage and low intensity schizo- some bull shit. Last month had to visit doc. Was seeing blue spots before my eyes. I said “Doc, got problems wimma eyes, not witta grey tank”. He blavered on. Don’t understand no more.



Gotcha fight ‘morro. Donno whats wrong with ‘ma neighbourhood kids, they used to keep on shouting and keep on runnin’. But these days they run but don’t shout no more. People too in the boxing matches. They jump but don’t shout much these days. They jump but…ratha’ too much.

“Come on you got hit a lot…you bled last match…fast, fast reflexes…we need fast reflexes…duck, hit, lunge, sway…move… got hit… fast, fast reflexes…The lady in green smiled when you got hit…sway…duck…referee doesn’t look good with whistle in his big friggin’ mouth….sway…duck…you got hit…”


Met doc long…uhhh…last week,doc tells me mouthing garbled words…uhhh…gravel worts my ass…gravel no more do I ? doc sings…doc sings I got low on hearing too…


My neiva’ Jim came in the morn with a man in whaite ova’coat. He acs as if he knows me. Doc yeah…yeah he is doc….but who is he? He speaks with Jim about something like a’vance’ schizo..pur..ughhh….what was it…


“Jim, I am sorry but he has got to be moved in asylum. He was suffering from hippocampal haemmorhage…I mean he was having some internal bleeding in his brains. That’s why he was kept on getting low on hearing. Now unfortunately he has developed advanced schrizophrenia. Came to me ten months back you know, kept on mouthing idiosyncracies.”

“ Yeah, Dr. Kerry that’s bad… his condition kept on deteriorating after that car accident. Lost his only sales job for that electrical company six months back. Kept on losing all the client accounts poor man. Poor, boy doesn’t remember his own name. Didn’t come out of his home, for the last three days so got kind of nervous you know”


“What about his family? Got nobody over here?”

“Nay…his dad was a boxer. He wanted him to be a boxer. Couldn’t make it though”

“Hmmm…that’s sad. The state mental asylum ambulance will be soon coming. Lets wait in the other room till then…”


Long after both of them had gone, and the white clinical vehicle left the streets of shanty downtown, an unkempt man with unshaven beard and stinking clothes, in the state hospital still keeps on mouthing, often silently, often in a whisper but most of the time so silently that even his shadow cant hear … “Duck, jab, reflexes…you got hit yesterday…faster…sway keep on swaying…”

Dr Kerry correctly diagnosed him to be suffering from mild schizophrenia on his first visit. Due to severe injury on hippocampal region, his hearing and motor nerves, which controls a human’s ability to pronounce words correctly, suffered extensive damage. Dr. Kerry although didnt know about it.
As till date, he is diagnosed with advanced schizophrenia with non-reversible neural motor damage.





(c) Soham Das

Clinical results of schizophrenia occurring from boxing can be found. Boxers often suffer from this type of complication because of repetitive injuries to head.




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